Pulitika

The Japanese government expresses their decision to CUT ANY FINANCIAL AID given to the Philippines should FPJ win as president.
Reason: MARAMI SIYANG Hapon na NAPATAY!
An FPJ - LACSON tandem will have a slogan: VOTE DA KING N DA QUEEN!
Before, when you meet a congressman, you proudly shake his hand. Now when you meet one, you shake your head.
Fernando Poe for PRESIDENT, Lucio Tan for SENATOR, Ina Raymundo for CONGRESSWOMAN and Niño Mhulach for MAYOR; isulat sa balota: POE TAN INA NIÑO.
Davide's impeachment will start Gloria's downfall. It's in the Bible:
"And as the prophets had foretold, it came to pass that Davide sleweth Gloriath.":-)
Worst Pinoy curse: May you have Gloria's stature, Ramos' fidelity, Ping's gender, Gringo's loyalty, Mike's honesty, Bacani's purity, Erap's wisdom and Cory's daughter, Kris!
Muslims in Quiapo are accusing Chief Justice DAVIDE of corruption.
Every corner you hear them whispering: "Bili DVD! Bili DVD! Bili DVD!"
Happy all souls day. Lets pray that next year, we will be celebrating all souls day of our congressmen and senators. Please pass para marinig ni Lord!
Ang sunod na pangulo ng Pinas ay ngsimula sa "P" Puwede si
Ping(Lacson)
Panday(FPJ)
Pandak(GMA)
Pacman(Danding)
or Pakirat-kirat (Roco)
QUALIFICATIONS NI FPJ: mas matangkad kay GLORIA, mas maliit ang tiyan kay ROCO, mas maraming napatay na bandido kay LACSON, mas matatag sa inuman kay ERAP!
CONG. 1: Balita ko, marami sa pumirma sa impeachment nag-withdraw na.
CONG. 2: Talaga? Saang bangko?
Danding deposited P500 Million to the accnt of FPJ. FPJ to announce his candidacy on Sunday! Our poor country.
Congressmn's wife woke up at midnight & said: "I think there are burglars in the house!"
Congressman: Yes, I know but we have our counterparts in the SENATE, too.
GMA: I'm planing to stop POVERTY & MASS STARVATION.
ERAP: Alam mo Gloria, yung poverty madaling pigilin. Pero ang Masturbation, aba..Human rights violation yan!
Jose Velarde and Jose Pidal are making a movie together. It will be called Dumb and Dumber. Sponsored by the Ateneo Alumni Association.
ERAP: Doc,I accidentally swallowed a chicken bone.
DR: Is it choking?
ERAP: No, it's Max's.
DR: I didn't mean Chowking, I said, "Are you choking?"
ERAP: No I'm serious!
JINGGOY: Dad, ano po ba ang classification ng elephant, lion at tiger?
ERAP: Pambihira naman, yun lang di mo pa alam? Pare-pareho silang mga KATOL!
JUDE: Dad, nag-text ako sa Mrs. ko na pauwi na ako. Na-shock ako pagdating sa bahay. May kasama siyang lalaki sa kama. Bakit ganoon?
ERAP: Baka di na-receive text mo!
LOI: Darling, gusto ko sanang magpadagdag ng boobs.
ERAP: Ha? Di ba masagwa yon, magiging TATLO?!
Upon examining Erap's brain, two sides were found, left and right. In the left side, there was nothing right and in the right side there was nothing left!
GMA: Alam mo, hindi naman ako kasing landi tulad ng akala nila. There was a time nga I had no sex for 14 consecutive years.
REPORTER: Really?
GMA: Really! Then I turned 15.
Sender:
Email ni Randle A.