Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Friend 3

Y we bcme frends?
dahil okay ako
okay k din
comedy ako,

comedy k din,
CUTE
AKO,

COMEDY K TLGA.Ü 

Padala ni A.D.

Moon

lastnyt
i lukd at
d mo0n


den he askd
me:

"kng sya lng ang
ngppaiyak syo,

bkt nde m sya iwan?"

lam m gnwa k?
aba!!
2makbo ako kaw b nmn kauspn ng buwan. 


Padala ni A.R.

Sino

Kung ang PINSAN k ay AMA ng PAMANGKIN ng LOLO k n syang TIYO ng KAPATID ng ASAWA ng ANAK ng PINSAN ng KUYA ko..

Ito ang tanong...


. . . . . . . . .


Ano naman ang ulam nyo ngayon?

Padala ni G.M.

Doctor 3

Pedro: Galing ako sa doctor, nakabili na ako ng hearing aid grabe ang linaw na ng pandinig ko!

Juan: talaga! Magkano bili mo?

Pedro: kahapon lang ü 

Padala ni A.R

Friend 2

f u evr fnd a frnd betr dan me,go ahed..

d kta ppgilan..iwan m ko..

pero pg iniwn k nya,nand2 lng ako sa likod mo..
..Pra batukan ka!Betr dan me pala ha?! 

Sent by A.R.

Image

ng pinngank ako
mron akong
sungay


maaalis lng un
pg mrn akng mbutng frnd


ng mkiL2 kta
hnep k toL!

bnago mo imge k0
ngkron p ko ng
BUNTOT!


ur d best!   

Padala ni Claude R.

Friend 1

iv chosEn u
as MY frnd
n0t by wAt u WeaR,

wAt u hAv,
oR u can giVe..

bUt i chUz u bcoz

naka sun ka!..
Tipid pa ako sa txt!ühehe    


Padala ni Ken

Bumangon

Mnsan
s buhay
ika'y
ndapa, 

gmulong, nputikan, naapakan ng iba.

Pero na22
karing bumangon.

humarap s lahat
at ngsabi.

lasing lng ako mga frendz!

Padala ni Claude R.

Mental

A mental patient was singng while lying in bed.

After a song, he turned facedown 2 sing again.

NURSE: Bakit ka bumaliktad?
PATIENT: para Side B naman.    

Padala ni Claude R.

English -Tagalog

English -Tagalog
Contemplate - kulang ang mga pinggan
Punctuation - pera para maka-enrol
Ice Buko - nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
Tenacious - sapatos na pang tennis
Calculator - tawagan kita mamaya
Devastation - sakayan ng bus
Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas
Statue - Ikaw ba yan?
Tissue - Ikaw nga!
Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa
Dedicated - Pinatay ang pusa
Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
Deduct - Ang pato
Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato?)
Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato?)
Diploma - ang tubero
Deposit - Gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)
Cattle -
Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna
Persuading - Unang Kasal
Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING
Defense - Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata sa PERSUADING
It depends - Kainin mo ang bakod
Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isha (11)
Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit, eh DELUSION)
Delivery - Walang bayad. Kapag working lunch, eh DELIVERY na ang tanghalian
Profit - Patunayan mo    


Padala ni Jose Suria

Doctor 2

Patient: Doc, l hav a problem but promise u wont laf 
               (drops his pants & shows d TINIEST penis ever).
Doc trying not 2 laf. Ok, wats d problem?
Patient: it is SWOLLEN     

Padala ni A.D

Advice 2

If 1 day ul mit ur ex wid his/her new gf/bf 
U dont have 2 get jealous..

Instead,smile  & say
"Bagay sila\"
"Isang basura & isang basurero"
wåhahaha     


Padala ni A.D.

Advice 1

f sum1 livs ü..

dÖnt dare 2 cry
bÜt smyl&b hapy


prÖ bgÖ
mÖ xa palayain,


ibulÖng

tÖ sa
kanya;


cute akÖ,
pasalamat k pinatulan kta
panget!Ü     

Padala ni A.D.

Doctor 1

MR:Doc,duwag ako mgpabunot ng ipin.
DR:No prblem,eto whisky,uminom ka! (Mr. Uminom ng whisky)
DR:O,mtapng k n b?
MR:Oo doc,pag may gmalaw ng ipin ko gglpihn ko! 

Pinadala ni A.D.

Anak 1

Anak: itay, ano ang difference ng opinion at conclusion?
Tatay: eh 'di papasok ka sa pinto kng Opin-yun,pero con-clus-yun 'di pwde..

Padala ni A.D.

Store

A guy walks in a store and buys a pack of condoms. Pays for it and as he leaves he starts to gigle and shakes his head.

He does this every day at the same time and leaves with sly smile on his face.

The manager of the store was starting to get irritated by his mischievous smile and the shaking of his head.

One day he tells his helper that if the same guy comes in and does the same thing, (buys condom; leave laughing shaking his head) that he follows him and report back to the manager.

Well, the guys comes in and as usual buys the condom and leave smiling. The manager tells the helper to follow him and when the helper came back the manager asked him where did the guy go?
The helper told him,"to your house\"!!!

Sent by Art Domingo

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Son 1

Son: Mom! There's a stranger having sex with our maid!!
Mom: What?!! Who?
Son: haha! Joke lang!! It's only Dad..
         Hahaha takot ka no?Ü

Padala ni A.D.

Erap 1

Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa Museum, attendant nataranta!
Attendant: Naku, yang vase, sir, more than 500 yrs old!.
Erap: Hay salamat! Akala ko bago!..
Padala ni A.D

HEADLINE BUKAS, NGAYON ANG BRODKAST

Tahnng wlng hgdan,
inkyat!

Bakla smali sa away,
npsubo!

Bgong tuli ngybang,
lmaki ang ulo!!

Unanong mdre, npgkmlang ....
penguin!!

Bulag nkptay,
ngdlim dw ang pningin!

Tndera ng suka,
tnoyo!

Guro ngkmli,
tinuruan ng leksyon!

Bsurero ngsmpa ng kso,
bnasura!!

Tubero,
ngktulo !

Misis ng phtogrpher,
nkunan!!

Brbero, tumestigo d pinanwalaan!!

Llake bumili ng kape,
nsapack!!

Padala ni Angel A